All posts by Ethan Willey

Who Asks Atlas?

The weight of the world on your shoulders

The slow crush

Day after Day

Minute to minute

Forever into eternity

The weight of the world on your shoulders

Except the Earth is beneath your feet

Beautiful blue sky above

People, people all around

Atlas was so big

Atlas bumped his head on the sky

Atlas was so strong

Atlas pushed the sky higher

People could build

People could grow

The weight of the world on your shoulders

People build

Atlas stood taller

People reached for the sky

Atlas stood on his toes

Atlas could be no taller

People bumped their heads on the sky

The sky shifted

Poor precarious Atlas

Wobble wobble

Driven to a knee

Atlas collapsed

People screaming

Atlas caught the sky

People cried out

Atlas felt for them

Atlas smiled for them

Atlas heaved with all he had

The sky flew high above

Atlas lay on his back

For one moment

For one moment

Atlas felt weightless

Atlas closed his eyes

Atlas exhaled

The sky fell

Atlas bent his knees

Atlas raised his hands

Atlas caught the sky

Atlas held the sky

It was beautiful

He watched the clouds

He sang with the birds

Atlas did not move

Weight of the sky

Earth at his back

Atlas shut his eyes

Atlas was still

People built

Earth shifted

Ages piled upon him

Earth covered him

Earth held the sky

Stuck

Constricted

His labor shifting

His labor was his breath

I’m Tired of Existing. Ravings About Heaven, Hell, and Limbo Being Limbo

I don’t want to exist. I’m tired of being here. Haven’t had a win in a while, and I don’t feel like I’m going to have one soon, and certainly not as soon as I’d like. Where am I? That’s partially an honest question, partially existential hyperbole, and partially disingenuous silliness. I really don’t know though, except I do, but admitting it is both hyperbole and all too real. Hell. I guess I’m in Hell, perhaps Limbo, Limbo feels better emotionally, and it’s true enough, but it’s not quite as real as admitting I’m in Hell. I’m really not in the mood to hold anything back right now, I suppose I’ve been edging for awhile now, and I keep getting right back here. It’s amazing that I can’t do what I want to do right now. And I don’t even mean the things I want to be doing right now that are the reasons for me feeling this way. Those are simply off the table and outside my control. But I can’t even do the things I want to do because I feel this way. Not existing is hard, and usually permanent as far as I can tell. I’m not suicidal, never have been….well not seriously anyway. I suppose the form of non-existence I’d like here is to spend a week or month as a hermit in the woods. Sounds lovely on some levels, on another level it would leave me horrifyingly alone with my thoughts, but that’s exactly where I am right now. In a mostly empty building, office door shut, no desire to go home, no desire to go anywhere but into the ether. That shit just doesn’t work though. I have responsibilities that chain me to existence, not in a permanent way, I could do it, I could just walk out and come back next week, but obviously there would be consequences. First off, I’d be declared missing and that causes annoying problems. Evaporating from work would be lovely for awhile, there’s a fair chance I wouldn’t even lose my job over it, just have to deal with whatever when I got back and for awhile after that. Would make the personal relationships weird though. Girlfriend and best friend notice, they check in with mom, now that’s three people concerned. What do you do? Leave a note? “Hi, won’t kill myself, but also won’t exist until Tuesday after next? Don’t worry, just checking out for awhile.” I don’t think they’d be that alarmed if they found that note, wouldn’t be horribly out of character for me. I’d have plenty of questions to answer. Mostly I’d just feel bad because they’d feel bad, I don’t need them to feel bad, they want to help, but can’t….see the beginning of this damn thing where I talk about that being my problem. I think sometimes we just can’t change anything and that kills us. I hate not being in control of anything, I don’t have control issues, I’m not that type A. But the whole captain of my soul, master of my fate thing? Yeah, not right now. Every single aspect of my life is currently out of my control because it’s waiting on things that come next, or that need to come next. There’s simply nothing to be done about it from my end, and as someone who has really embraced the concept of extreme ownership and discipline, as a way of turning my life around for substantial improvement, this sucks. It’s about the worst thing that could be happening. Of course this means I’m also discounting all the things currently in my life as meaningless, doesn’t it? Which in a way maybe I am, or at least devaluing them compared to the future. Attempting to live in the future, but stuck in the past…yeah, something like that. Life is suffering, and this could really be looked at as penance for past mistakes, obvious past mistakes are why I’m in this place, and not in a vastly different place. But I’ve moved on from the me that made those mistakes, like I said, substantial improvement, but this is the reminder? Hell is other people. Sort of, but not really. Hell is a transient thing, there’s a belief in some versions of the Abrahamic religions that Hell is a temporary state, that you stay in Hell long enough to atone for your sins, then the impure parts of you are burned away, and the rest of you is allowed to move on. I’m paying the price for past sins right now, even though I already paid for them. Maybe Hell needs to serve you with reminders once in awhile, the Devil wouldn’t want you to forget him. But there isn’t a Devil is there? Not a God either….not ones that are separate from ourselves anyway. I think God and the Devil are ideals people have. Modern people see the Devil as the source of all evil in the world, but that’s probably not the original intention, and probably not the truth of existence. God rewards, the Devil punishes? I think that might be closer, I don’t think God is good because God is good, I think God rewards the things you think are good…..well obviously, 9/11 beliefs in 72 virgins proves that. Hades could be the precursor to the Devil, and Hades, the precursor to Hell. I think it helps people to personify things, but the precursor for Hades is Hades, it begat he. And Hades was probably predated by things like Ginnungagap. From chaos emerged order, but is it order and disorder? Are those Heaven and Hell? In a lot of senses, sure. But shouldn’t there be a base level? Everyone wants a base level, but I suppose that doesn’t mean there is one. They aren’t places, they’re meta places. Heaven and Hell are places you exist during your life? I can’t speak to what happens to the dead, only one way to figure that out, I’m extremely curious, and have nothing to fear from it, but I don’t seek it. Maybe Heaven and Hell are places that our legacies go in the minds of others? Individuals, and the collective? So I suppose the only question worth asking when one finds oneself in Hell, or Heaven for that matter, but why question the gift unicorn, is how did I get here? Because that’s it, no one forces you into Hell…well okay, no one forces most people into Hell, I can certainly imagine extreme circumstances that would turn people’s lives into Hell and absolutely shape their decisions for them, but I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the majority of us, who had decent upbringings, and there isn’t anything inherently demonic about our lives or who we are. So what did I actually do? Or in some cases, what didn’t I do? I sucked in a relationship, or at least at the end of one, that would be the most surface explanation of why I’m here, but that only explains why am I here in a relationship sense, granted, a rather significant portion of my current issues are directly related to those relationship mistakes, there are deeper reasons for making those mistakes, and you can’t just pawn your mistakes off to others and circumstance.

I just saw a window into Heaven, the life I could be living, the life I will hopefully live. I can say honestly, they got Tantalus’ punishment right. Are those the most well known punishments of Hades? Tantalus and Sisyphus? There’s others like Io, but that’s not exactly a metaphor or lesson, just torture. Is Hell really a combination of the two? Or are those just two of the most common Hells? I suppose I’m Tantalus right now, I can ripple water with my breath, but can never meet it with my lips to drink. I can see through a tiny window, but not step through it.

But why am I here in the first place? I ruined a relationship. Why? I was a jerk. Why? I was self-absorbed and immature. Why? I didn’t want to lose something, or at the least, be deprived of someone amazing. And it wasn’t even all for selfish reasons, I knew things wouldn’t end well with her pursuits, and I was proven correct about that. If I hadn’t been so personally hurt by it at the time, and so selfish, perhaps I could have more tenderly articulated that and the whole thing could have been avoided. Although that wouldn’t have been the best course of action, even though it sounds like it. I could have successfully protected her, or at least helped her avoid something. But the me of today knows that wouldn’t have been the way. Sure, raising the objections and concerns in a reasonable way would certainly be a worthwhile thing to do. But the real goal shouldn’t have been to raise them to turn her from her decision, but to have actually helped her overcome them and be successful. That’s the role I could have played. Because it’s not just me dealing with the Hell of my actions. She did and does as well. There’s a lot to be understood there I suppose, many levels of failure on my part, and consequences of that failure, but they don’t necessarily necessitate exploration. One needed really plumb the depths of a void looking for the edge…it’s a void…it ain’t got an edge, just look at it and respect it’s enormity and ability to supplant the space around you.

Having vaguely established an understanding of Hell, an understanding of this particular Hell, and how I came to be in it…strangely I feel better. Why do I feel better? Doesn’t exactly make sense does it? Except it does. Your brain is an amazing thing, works on autopilot if you ask it to. Ask it a question, can be anything, it’ll give you the answer if you let it. Sit to write when you don’t feel like existing and you’ll figure it out. But here’s why it really makes sense…or at least why it makes sense to me. Way back a few hundred words ago, I was lamenting about not having control of my situation and thereby being miserable, but by trying to understand the situation I happened upon why I was here, and why I’m here, as it rather unsurprisingly turns out, is absolutely my own doing. I understand now. “The further back you look, the farther forward you will see.” I didn’t have control of everything when I made the mistakes….obviously, because if I did, I wouldn’t have been put in a position to make those mistakes, but while I wasn’t in control, it was exactly the way I acted in response to the things I couldn’t control that ruined everything. If I’d acted differently, things would be different, simple. So now…and perhaps always….if I’m honest….yeah, this might be a meta place as well…Limbo is the place where you don’t control anything, it is the default meta location of people’s existence? Because as people, by definition we don’t control everything….otherwise, we’d be God….and we’d really be in Heaven…kinda contradicts earlier doesn’t it? But I suppose that’s learning, or rather, evolving. Sooooooo….yeah I lost myself here, let’s back up a few lines. Oh I’ve got it, it’s a Venn Diagram! Ha, yes! You’re always in Limbo because there are always things outside your control and therefore some portion of you, in some facet of life, will always exist in Limbo. But you can also exist in Hell….and that Hell can and will absolutely amplify the effects of Limbo…because they’re synergistic I suppose. Because Hell is bad, Heaven is good, and Limbo is Limbo. To put it another way, Limbo is water, doesn’t really taste like anything, just a thing you need to drink constantly, but you can make the water taste bad, Hell, or good, Heaven. Because Limbo is Limbo…that’s a t-shirt. Anyways, if you’ve been messing up, and dealing with the consequences, then Limbo is worse than usual because you’re not just stuck in Limbo, you’re stuck in Hell as well….yeah…Venn. But back to the why I feel better now that I’ve determined that I’m the one that got me stuck in Hell. I have to be in Limbo, cause Limbo is Limbo, but I don’t have to be in Hell. IIIIIIIIII put me in Hell, no one else, just me. So now that I understand properly, yet again, that I’m the one who put me squarely in Hell…I realize I put me here! Isn’t that beautiful. If you don’t get it, you’re not seeing it. I put me here. From the place we all have to stand, I walked into Hell. Why didn’t I walk into Heaven? Well quite simply the person I was at that time wasn’t capable of such a thing, but I’m not that person anymore. So I put myself in Hell, Hell is burning off the portions of me that walked into Hell so that I will no longer be the person who walks into this particular Hell…so next time…I can just walk into Heaven. Put rather simply, if I put me in Hell when I didn’t control the situation, then this time when I don’t control the situation I’m perfectly capable of walking into Heaven instead, and that’s why I feel better.

All that said, I still need to walk to Heaven….probably isn’t around the damn corner, but oh well. As for how would I walk into Heaven? As I said, I think the brain gives us pretty good answers, and the answer will come if you ask. I will phrase the question thusly, if I were me in a story, what would I want me to do? The answer was, put this on the internet because maybe someone else will benefit from it someday, tell certain people you love them, go home, eat something, sleep, and ask again in the morning.

Artemis Shoots the Moon

Hestia glanced up as one of Emrys’ portals blinked open.
Arthur! Tekk is here.

Okay okay.
Arthur bounded around the corner, skidding to a halt in front of the god
Good afternoon, sir

Tekk inclined his head.
Where are your things?

Arthur turned to dash back around the corner and collect his things, over the protests of the girl who’d been playing with them. Arthur backed around the corner, pulling his bow, dragging the girl who refused to let it go.

Hestia tripled in size.
Artemis! Arthur has lessons, and you have your own to get to soon.


He said I could play with it!


Darling let’s-

Tekk held up a hand.
Come here child.

Artemis stopped struggling, and looked at the strange man. Getting to her feet, she backed away slowly without taking her eyes off the bones dangling from his neck.

Arthur shook his head, stepping behind Artemis, he pushed her toward his tutor.
This is Tekk.

H-hi…
Artemis’ hands clenched bunches of her dress as she stood otherwise frozen.


Have you ever shot a bow?

Artemis lied with a nod of her head.


Do you have your bow?

She shook her head.


Where is it?

Artemis shrugged.


You don’t know where it is?

She shrugged again.

Hestia bounded up, small again.
She doesn’t have one!

Tekk frowned.

Who’s bow did you shoot?

Artemis shrugged.

Tekk fixed her with a piercing look.
Do you want to go with us?

Artemis perked up, nodding.


You’d better ask your sister then.

Artemis pounced on Hestia, taking the girl by the shoulders and jumping up and down.
Please!

Hestia considered, smiling back at Artemis.
It means you won’t get to see the animals today….

Arthur stepped up, leaning over Artemis’ shoulder.
Yes she will, Tekk will find us many animals.

Artemis glanced at the god,then turned back to Hestia, nodding vigorously.

Hestia sighed.
Alright then, I’ll go see them allllll alone….

Artemis was already gone, standing next to Tekk, ready to depart.

Hestia shook her head, and walked toward the kitchen.

Tekk knelt down next to Artemis.
I need a piece of wood.

Artemis looked around the room, pacing as she went. She looked back at Tekk, shrugging, but he simply stared at her. Her face lit up, and she went to her bag, rummaging inside for something. She returned to Tekk, toy in hand.


What is this?

Tekk looked curious about the pair of circles in her hand.

Arthur stepped up.
It’s a-

Artemis pushed him, shaking her head. She slipped her finger into the string loop between the pieces of wood and turned her palm toward the ground. With a gentle flick of her wrist, she released the toy to unspool string as it fell toward the ground. When it was about to hit the ground, Artemis flicked her wrist back, and the wood pieces wound their way back up the string. She smiled at Tekk as she repeated the motions.


Hmmm, may I try?

Artemis nodded, handing over the toy.

The god slid the loop over his finger, holding the toy in his palm. Releasing it, he let it fall toward the ground, and jerked his hand back to recall it. The string slacked, and the toy rose in the air, but did not rewind up the string. Tekk half-grinned as he considered the physics.


You did it wrong.

Arthur snatched up the toy, winding it around the string by hand. Bad timing. Getting the whole thing properly wound, he pulled the loop from Tekk’s finger and pushed it onto his own.
Watch.
Arthur held his palm up, flicking the toy back over his fingers, the toy raced down the string, bouncing off the ground before Arthur could recall it.
Ugh, hang on!

Tekk frowned.
Why don’t you let Artemis show us.


I can-

Arthur caught the glare Tekk shot him, and nodded, spooling the toy and handing it back to Artemis.


You can’t let it hit the ground.

Artemis did it perfectly. you want to keep it an inch from the ground. And recall it at the end. She repeated it.

Tekk held out his hand and Artemis handed it over.

How long did it take you to practice this?
He let it fall, flicking his wrist to recall it, the toy went halfway back up the string and stopped, unspooling slightly, but he bent over to catch it before it fell the rest of the way, quickly winding it by hand.

Harder next time.

Artemis shrugged.

Not very long.

Tekk dropped the toy, focusing intensely as it raced down the string, jerking his wrist up right before it hit the floor. The toy whizzed up the string, straight into his palm, where he closed his fingers around it.

An interesting toy, my nephew would love one.

He grinned as he handed it back to Artemis.

Did you practice as much with your bow?

Artemis nodded. Flicking her wrist she sent the toy out, not toward the ground, but toward Tekk. She recalled the toy, and turned to flick it at Arthur as well. Then she flicked it toward the ground again, this time she didn’t recall it, instead she reached down with each hand, pinching different spots on the string, pulling them up, and she looped the string around her wrist, forming a string triangle with the toy hanging in the middle, swinging back and forth between the sides. Smiling, she released the strings, flicking her wrist as the string straightened and recalling it perfectly to her hand. She held it out for Tekk again.

Wood.

Do you have others?

Artemis shook her head. Gripping each side of the toy with one hand, she pulled it apart, but each side remained part of a whole. Handing Tekk the one in her left hand, she slipped the copy into the bag at her feet. Straightening to stand, hands on hips, watching Tekk.

The god surveyed her carefully. An interesting young lady.

Artemis shrugged.

Tekk rubbed his hands over the toy, then smiled to himself. Taking a side in each hand, as Artemis had, he pulled it apart. Breaking it in half. He plucked the string from the center, and it crumpled to ash as it fell to the floor. Pushing the halves back together, he mended it.

May I have your hair?

He smirked at Artemis.

How much?

Tekk grinned again, shaking his head at the girl.

One strand.

Artemis pinched a strand from the lock hanging next to her face. Following the strand up, she plucked it by the root, and presented it to the god.

Tekk accepted it. Holding the strand by the end, he slipped the dangling end into the center of the toy, joining them. Winding the hair around the toy he held it in his palm for them to see.
He passed his other hand over it, obscuring it. When the hand passed they saw not a circular toy, but an oval.

Artemis stepped closer as he passed his hands over it again and stretched it further.

Twice more he elongated the toy, until it resembled a foot long bar in his hands. Grabbing the toy by one end, he pried the pieces apart. The silvery strand of hair, the only thing connecting the pieces. The other ends of the toy melded together, forming a kind of hinge as he opened it further, until it was doubly long, joined at the middle, strand of hair connecting the far away ends.
Grab it in the middle.

Tekk held it out toward her.

Artemis reached out, wrapping her hand around the join. The wood was hard, it felt like wood, but it gave beneath her hand, molding perfectly to her grip.

Hold it there.
Tekk let go of it. Running his hands along the top half, he stretched it a little more, shaping it as he went, flattening it out and adding a curve so it angled back toward Artemis, then he bent the last few inches sharply up toward the ceiling.

Artemis watched with interest as he mirrored the process on the bottom. She was drawn in by the look on his face as he worked.

Satisfied, he examined the bow for fault. Finding none, he pinched the top of the hair strand, running his fingers down it’s length. The strand glowed as his fingers swept down it, when he was done the whole string glowed as if by moonlight.

The string will not break.

Artemis admired the bow.

Arthur held up his own.

Mine is-

Tekk waved a hand at the boy, pointing toward the portal behind him.

Arthur scoffed and strode through the portal.

Artemis offered Tekk a smile, and inclined her head.

Tekk gestured for her to lead the way, and followed her through the portal.

On the other side, Arthur’s heavy boots crunched through the snow as he paced to stay warm.
How are you not freezing?!

Artemis padded toward him, barefoot. Shrugging, she pointed up at the moon over their heads.

Arthur rolled his eyes before looking up at Tekk.
What are we hunting?

You are hunting deer.


Well where are they?

Tekk shrugged.

Arthur looked at Artemis for help.

Artemis glanced at Tekk, and shrugged as he had.

Arthur shook his head furiously. He took off in a random direction, the other two following along behind him.

Tekk tapped Artemis on the shoulder, attracting her attention, he gestured to hoofprints thirty feet to their left. He gestured toward them with his head and she nodded, leaving Arthur to continue on ahead as they followed the markings.

Artemis walked next to Tekk, paying attention each time he indicated some new sign of their quarry.

The pair stopped as the ground sloped down before them. Artemis slowly reached up, touching Tekk’s hand as she pointed below them. Twenty yards off, a massive deer grazed at the few shoots poking up through the snow. He stood on the opposite bank of the dry ditch at the bottom of the small hill.

Slowly, Tekk knelt next to Artemis.

Tuktu.

Pointing with one hand at the deer, he focused a beam of moonlight, lighting up a clear target just behind the outstretched front leg of the deer. He turned to smile at Artemis, but the girl was shaking her head, backing away slowly.

Calm.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he gently guided her back around.

Breathe.

He mimed a deep breath with his hand.

Artemis’ heart pounded in her chest. Looking down, she could see it pounding through her dress. Fighting down a breath she forced her eyes closed.

Good, breathe, draw.

Tekk focused on the deer, adjusting her target slightly as it took a step.

Artemis planted her feet, struggling to pull back the bow string as she’d seen Arthur do before. An arrow appeared on the string when she could pull it no farther. The sound of blood in her ears was deafening, she saw Tekk’s lips move but heard nothing over the sound. As if suddenly feeling the Arctic cold, her whole body shook violently.

Good, hold your sight, fire when ready.

Tekk looked down as he felt her bump his side. Seeing the angle of her elbow, her anchor point, and the way her whole body shivered, he turned to her fully.

Ease off…
Too late, Artemis released the string.

The deer fell into the ditch.

Artemis dropped her bow.

I got it…
She took a step back, frightened of the look on Tekk’s face. As the deer bellowed in pain she started to cry.

What were you thinking!?

Hands clamped over her ears, Artemis turned to run away, but Tekk caught her by the elbow and half carried, half dragged, her down the slope, her bow in his other hand.

Stupid girl.

He ground his teeth.

You said…

He pressed his eyes shut, silently admonishing himself, and stood her in the snow before him. How often do you shoot?

Artemis shrugged, but was shaking to badly for him to see it.

Answer me.

She shrugged again, her whole body rising up on her tiptoes this time.


Have you ever fired a bow.

Her head bobbed.


Don’t lie!

Artemis’ head shook so violently it unnerved Tekk for a second.

Look!

He spun her around, pushing her toward the edge of the ditch.

At the bottom of the ditch the deer bellowed. Kicking snow wildly it tried to flee, its front legs a flurry of motion, trying to drag its back legs through the snow. Its breath escaping in large bursts of steam as it panted with exhaustion and fear.

Help him…

Artemis’ voice could barely be heard over the terrible sounds of the wounded animal.

Tekk shoved the bow back into her hands.

No no no.

She threw the bow away. Grabbing Tekk by the leg, trying to shake the large man.

Help him.

Tekk looked down at the girl with a cold glare. Raising his hand slowly, he pointed at her bow laying in the snow.

Help him.

Artemis tried to shake the man, but he did not move, he did not lower his arm, nor raise his gaze. Giving up, she stepped cautiously toward the deer.

Stay back.

Tekk took a step forward.

It will kick you.

Artemis froze, wanting to hug it and make it all better, but unable to tear her eyes from the furious flashing of its hooves.

Help it.
Artemis looked back to see Tekk, still pointing at her bow. Looking at him with the guiltiest, most remorseful look she’d ever given, he would not be moved. Artemis trudged through the snow to her bow. Pausing, she cursed the thing before stooping to pluck it from the snow. Turning slowly, she slowly trudged back passed Tekk, under his heavy gaze the whole way. The deer rasped for air, collapsing on its side as she approached. Walking around beside it, the deer kicked faintly with its front legs, the front half of its body shaking. Water pooled around its face as its hot breath melted the snow. Its ear flicked as Artemis crept closer to it, its eye rotating up to look at her.

I’m sorry…

Getting closer, she thought about hugging it, but it kicked at her, trying to keep her away. She nodded.

I’m sorry.

Drawing her bow, she shivered, her whole body, whole being, completely against this. Closing her eyes she tried to will her body still, but it refused. She felt a hand on her shoulder, she felt Tekk next to her, he steadied her. Swallowing, she opened her eyes, finding the deer’s eye she felt the tears at the edge of her own.

I’m sorry.

Turning her head, she focused her watery eyes on the spot behind its shoulder, and let go of the string.

Tekk walked around behind the deer, kneeling in the snow, he stuck a finger in the hole at the center of its spine. He looked at Artemis as she took it in, nodding feebly before collapsing to her knees and throwing her arms around the deer. He watched her for a moment, feeling for her in the pit of his stomach.

Here.

He produced a knife, offering her the handle.

Artemis looked up at the knife, and buried her shaking head back in the deer’s neck.

You must.

Artemis sobbed into the deer’s fur.


Will you just leave him out here? You will find a use for every piece of him, and I hope that it is his bones, hide, and flesh that you are most reverent of…but not most proud.

Artemis looked up at the sound of crunching boots.

Tekk turned to the sound as well to see Arthur approaching down the ditch bank, two deer floating in the air behind him.

I got two.

Arthur surveyed the scene as he drew level with them.

Wow, big one for your first reindeer.

Tekk felt the knife pull from his hand, and looked around to see Artemis pulling it to her, as she remained wrapped around the deer’s neck.

Good hunt Arthur, dress yours while I walk Artemis through hers.

Yes sir.

Arthur pulled a large knife from his belt as he deposited his deer on the ditch bank.

Tekk pointed to a spot between the deer’s legs, just below its tail, a beam of moonlight focused on the spot.

Follow the light.

Artemis looked down into the deer’s dead eyes, wishing it a parting thought, before crawling around to its back legs, and directing her knife toward the light with trembling hands.PAGE_BREAK: PageBreak

The next week when Tekk stepped through the portal into Hestia’s home, he found Hestia and Arthur in the kitchen.

Good afternoon.

Hello cousin.

Hestia offered him some of the wine she and Arthur had been bottling.

He’s all yours.

Arthur eyed the spear in Tekk’s hands.

What’re we hunting?


Fishing.

Arthur’s eyes lit up as Tekk handed him the spear.

Cool.

Tekk nodded, downing his wine.

Go ahead, there are snowshoes on the bank, put them on.

He grabbed the haft of the spear as Arthur bounded passed him, jerking the boy to a halt.

Stay on the bank.

Arthur nodded, hurrying through the portal.

How’s the girl?

Tekk glanced around at the otherwise empty kitchen.

A little different…

Hestia pointed toward the back door.

Don’t know what you did to her.

She did it.

He handed the wine glass back to Hestia, and walked through the back door.

Thunk An arrow embedded itself into a wood slab across the yard.

Tekk looked at the pockmarked surface of the slab, as another arrow missed the mark, six inches away from the last.
Practicing?

Artemis tilted her head, pondering the arrow’s path. Shaking her head, she nocked another one, and fired. Grunting as this one landed nowhere near the other two.

Hmmm.

Tekk watched her.

Arthur and I are going out, you want to join us?

Artemis drew back her bow, pausing at full draw to look down at her feet. Seemingly satisfied she released, this arrow hitting near the second.

Tekk smiled.

Different elbow position every time, forearm and elbow should be straight back off the nock, inline with the shaft.

Turning around, he went back inside as Artemis drew, paying careful attention to her elbow position. Tekk waved at Hestia as he approached his portal.

Ullr and I teach archery with Hou Yi once in a while. Okay with you if I collect the girl for the next one?

Hestia chortled.

I think she’d shoot me if I said no.

Tekk nodded, smiling to himself again, and headed after Arthur.

Mjolnir’s Screams

Mjolnir crackled with electricity as it left Thor’s hand, rocketting through the salty air it grew smaller and smaller as it approached the World Serpent. Thor paid it no mind, he knew it would strike the monstrous serpent, stunning him, and fall the long fall into the ocean below.  This had played out innumerable times. He knew the snake’s gargantuan body would thrash about, flooding the beach with powerful waves as the hammer’s lightning overrode Jormungandr’s control of his own body. Thor did not wait to watch as he had the first few years, it was quite a sight to see his giant nephew flail about, but he had long such lost interest in such things.  

 

Striding along the beach, the ancient god looked for a new challenge, or at least a new sensation.  Thor stopped walking and looked around. Odin was locked in battle with another of his nephews, Fenrir, a wolf so large even Thor could not have lifted him.  Loki and Heimdall were cutting swathes across the battlefield to reach one another. Thor wondered who would win this year. He felt something cold pinch him and heard a dull thud, turning he nearly tripped over his own arm laying in the sand.  With a shrug the mighty god lunged forward, putting his shoulder into the chest of his assailant, knocking her to the ground.  Walking forward calmly, Thor stepped on her head as he might a stone in the creek if he were trying to keep his feet dry, there was a crunch and he sank a few inches, and his foot was no longer dry.  With a sigh he ducked under a slash and took his new adversary by the wrist, pivoting in the sand he hurled his foe toward the World Serpent, where he would sink beneath the waves and drown, paralyzed by Mjolnir’s powerful current.  Continuing forward he caught a glimpse of Loki crossing blades with Baldr, behind them he saw the familiar glint of Heimdall’s armor in the sand. Thor watched as his brother melted away into the beach, he would wake in Asgard in a few days, ready to prepare for next winter.  Thor sighed as he thought about next year.

 

He wondered if Sif would care if he spent it in the woods, of course she would, she hated the way he wasn’t there even when he was there.  He’d hated that too for a few years. Perhaps it would be better to send the boys into the wild, they would relish the challenge as always, and Sif would visit them regularly.  He could send them in the spring, when he no longer had to sit on Odin’s seat. He nodded to himself, first day of spring he’d rescue Odin from the beast’s belly, second day, he’d offer the boys the test, winner could have the hammer, winner could sit on the high seat and rescue Odin year after next and after that one until they grew tired of it, then the loser could take over or something.  

 

His eyes focused on the man charging him, some denizen of Hel he assumed.  The man leapt through the air to tackle the one-armed god, Thor simply caught him by the neck and smashed his forehead against his, slightly dazed he examined the man, recognizing him better now that his nose was smashed and gushing blood.  It was a Vanir god, he remembered this one, he hadn’t supported the Pact and remained in Vanaheim. Thor had killed him hundreds of times. With a whistle, Thor heaved the god into the air, a Valkyrie streaked past the man, severing his head as she went, leaving the smoky remains to rain around Thor and melt into the sand.  Thor coughed. Looking down he saw six inches of a blade sticking out of his stomach. With a grunt he glanced over his shoulder, Loki, he nodded to his brother. They’d be going to rescue Odin together in three months. Loki nodded back, withdrew his blade, and took off to a new target.

Thor took a knee, and sat back in the sand to look out over the sea.  Jormungandr writhed in agony, waves cresting twenty feet crashed against the beach.  Thor thought about the day, he’d only killed a dozen or so, his lowest score of any year by at least a hundred.  In that case his side would surely lose, there was always next year. Thor shivered, blood loss…except not. That cold ache hadn’t taken hold yet, he knew it would, he’d fought through exhaustion and hemorrhage many times.  Next year…Thor thought about next year. He shivered again, now the cold was spreading rapidly through his extremities.

 

Glancing out at Jormungandr again, the thunder god inclined his head.  Holding out his hand, he recalled his faithful hammer. He remembered getting his Mjolnir eons ago, he thought back to Eitri setting it in his lap for judging.  He remembered killing a score of giants to test it, and rushing to Brok’s forge to thank the brothers for crafting it. He smiled softly as he recalled holding her in one hand and watching a tendril of electricity arc to the finger of his other hand, for centuries he’d done that in his most bored moments, or to distract himself from whatever mischief Loki had recently caused. He watched as his hammer approached, slowing somewhat as it covered the last ten yards, she knew he was weak at the moment.

Thor registered the smack as Mjolnir’s handle hit his palm, his fist closing around it out of ancient habit, the jolt knocked him back.  Laying on his back, sand in his red beard, the god laughed for the first time in ages. He hadn’t felt the feeling of reconnecting with Mjolnir in an age.  Long had it been since he’d grown too accustomed to it to even notice the sound, or the jolt in his arm. A good thing to miss in the heat of battle, but Thor was tired of missing it. Laying on his back, Thor hoisted Mjolnir, she was heavy, actually she was the same as ever, his arm was pale and weak.  He felt the weight of eternity in her weight.

Kissing her gently, he admired her runework…Eitri was a fine engraver.  He let his arm fall to the side, feeling the leather wrap on Mjolnir’s handle in his palm, and the cool sand on his bare arm.  He coughed violently, his body spasming. Resting his head back in the sand, he took a few deep breaths. Enjoying the salty air.  Taking a powerful breath, he closed his eyes, nodding once, nodding again, nodding a third time. On the third nod he braced himself, his whole body pushing against gravity as he gave a mighty heave, casting Mjolnir into the air.  It wasn’t very high, in times long past he had walked the streets of Asgard absentmindedly tossing the hammer much higher and catching it as he made his way around. In happier times he had wandered Midgard, amusing mortal children by tossing the hammer out of view at the beginning of a meal only to make a show of forgetting it afterward then catching it after a long search through the children’s toys.  The hammer did not fly high this time, he had thrown his boys higher on occasion, when their mother wasn’t looking of course, but the hammer soared high enough.

At its apex the hammer hung in the air, suspended for one perfect instance, before the weight of the head turned it around, and it began the plunge back to the beach.  “This is Mjolnir, she’s a hammer, you can throw her and she will always hit her target.” That’s what Eitri had said, it had always been true, it will always be true. Mjolnir whistled as she fell, she normally whistled as she flew, most things do, but never so loudly.  Her high pitched whine cut through the cacophony of the battlefield. Everyone was interested, this was new, new was rare. Everyone turned to watch as Mjolnir fell, and they puzzled as she fell strangely. The unliftable hammer seemed to fight gravity, it was losing badly, but it was certainly fighting.  Everyone listened as Mjolnir screamed. Everyone watched as Thor raised his hand. Loki smiled, Thor did like to die hammer in hand. Thor did not call his hammer to his hand. He raised but one finger to her. A single arc of her lightning sparked, bridging her to him one final time. Thor smiled, the energy was warm.  

 

Mjolnir’s screams died.  There was a deafening crunch and a tremor through the beach.  Then there was nothing. The silence was painful.  The air was still, the seabreeze didn’t dare blow. Thor’s body did not melt away.  He did not vanish into the sand.

And then Sif began to scream.  The goddess ran through the armies, no one wanted to stop her.  She ran a long ways, she had been across the field. When she reached her husband, she threw her body over his.  Her body wracked with sobs and grief and loss. A ways down the beach, Loki fell to his knees, holding his face in his hands as he too cried.  This was his fault, he should not have left Thor to bleed out peacefully. Loki looked around for Thor’s sons, but he saw no hint of Magnir nor Modi.  They had already been slain. Loki resolved to tell them himself, he hoped he would be reborn before them, he did not want them to wonder where their father was, and he certainly didn’t want them to find out from Sif.  He would tell them, they could kill him in their grief, he would be okay with that. He’d be reborn with his sons in the fall, spend time with them, then Magni and Modi could kill him again on the Winter Solstice, and again when he was reborn.  Loki offered Thor’s body a smile, Thor would like that, he had often killed Loki to make himself feel better.

 

Odin walked slowly across the beach, everyone moved from the old god’s path.  He stood next to Sif, looking at the horizon as he tried to keep his eye off Thor’s body.  Closing his eye, he stood there for a moment, offering a last thought for Thor. Tightening his hands around his spear, Odin lifted it over Sif, the tip hovering just below the base of her trembling skull.  She would find peace in her dreams, she would feel better when she woke from the Sleep. With a godly effort, Odin buried the spearhead. It was quick, Sif felt nothing. Odin looked back at the horizon as Sif melted into the sand.  Turning he looked around him. No one had the will to fight anymore. Those who had been fighting simply gestured to one another, the rules of the cruel game were clear, but no one wanted to win anymore. Next year. As always, their hopes for escape lay with next year.  Across the battlefield the sides killed one another quickly.

 

A Valkyrie crept forward, driven by old instincts.  She bent to touch Thor’s shoulder, to return him home.  Odin caught her by the arm, wrenching it hard as he shoved her away.  She landed hard in the sand, baring her teeth at the Raven God. Odin reacted in kind, brandishing his spear at her.  The Valkyrie backpedaled, quickly removing herself from Odin’s sight. Odin shook his head as he finally glanced down at Thor.  Odin’s rules were absolute, Thor had not died Worthy, he could not be returned to any of the places for the Worthy. Hel would have to claim the body.  Odin glanced over his shoulder as Fenrir padded toward him. Even he didn’t have the will to finish the fight today. What was the point. Odin cast his head back, his eye piercing the heavens, glaring up at the one who started all this, the one who bound them all within the rules of His cruel game.

7 Years with 9 Muses

Like the little one here I feel like I’ve been heating up a dragon egg with my body for a while now, and she’s finally hatched. Now I can only hope she grows as large and has as many children as Sae.

 

 SEVEN YEARS AGO:

After telling my girlfriend she should write a book (because she hated college) she insisted I should write one. Well I think epic Calliope must have been hovering around because, after asking aloud what on Earth I would possibly write about, she whispered this idea right in my ear and I knew then and there that I would be her modern day mouthpiece for a new myth.

YEARS 1 – 6:

I listened and listened. Which is perhaps code for: was unbelievably lazy and thought instead of wrote. At the end of six years only about 30,000 words existed on paper. And I started the editing process. I figured I’d end somewhere around 40,000 because there was one chapter toward the beginning I hadn’t written yet…well as it turns out, I wasn’t really ready to edit yet, because in four months I did indeed write that ‘last’ 10,000 words…oh and another 100,000 on top of it.

So if you’re keeping score at home, that’s 30,000 words in six years. And 110,000 in four months…good thing I did all that listening eh?

YEAR 7:

Eight months of editing and working on cover/chapter art and my baby was finally ready to hatch. The egg I’d laid had indeed gestated, and had grown into a fully formed little one. And was she ever impatient to break out of her shell and spread her wings…and honestly I couldn’t stand to cuddle her any longer and let her siphon my body heat. So she broke out, she hatched, and now we’re keeping each other warm. I love her very much, I’m already 30,000 words into her baby (so it won’t take her seven years to be a mother…apparently dragons mature fast) I hope you come to lover her as much as I do, I hope she becomes as large and powerful I know she can be.